The Objective Collective

Your source for slant;

Recently I was chatting with the man at the photocopy shop about how much hotmail has been sucking ass of late. This sudden decline in service eerily coincides with the recent launch of gmail, Google’s new “search oriented” email service. Anyways, I’m pretty fucking fed up with handing papers in late because of hotmail so I signed up for it. Google and I have a sordid past, although I find their motto “Don’t be evil” very cute, I’m pretty sure they are. This of course brings up all kinds of moral dilemmas. “But hey,” I say to my self, “are hotmail, and yahoo, and Microsoft not evil?” Such is the reality of the technical age. We’ve all, quite unexpectedly, contracted our souls Satan’s minions. But by God, the service is so conveniant.

Speaking of contracts, if you ever hear about Google biting the heads off babies, have no fear; I’m pretty sure they’re covered. Here’s an excerpt from the contract I just agreed to for my shinny new email service. 2 500 gigabytes of space, and rising, and it only cost me my soul.

Without limiting the foregoing, under no circumstances shall Google or its licensors be held liable for any delay or failure in performance resulting directly or indirectly from acts of nature, forces, or causes beyond its reasonable control, including, without limitation, Internet failures, computer equipment failures, telecommunication equipment failures, other equipment failures, electrical power failures, strikes, labor disputes, riots, insurrections, civil disturbances, shortages of labor or materials, fires, floods, storms, explosions, acts of God, war, governmental actions, orders of domestic or foreign courts or tribunals, non-performance of third parties, or loss of or fluctuations in heat, light, or air conditioning.